这是韩寒文章的英文版：
From http://is.gd/6z3E8
中文版见这儿：http://goo.gl/fb/dOF6
德文版见这儿：http://is.gd/6z3mG
"I am just speculating"
[This blog post by China's top blogger was deleted by the blog hosting service Sina.com.]
(Bullock.cn) I am just speculating. By Han Han. January 17, 2010.
2010: China begins an Internet clean-up campaign with the slogan: "If you stop beating someone for 3 days, he/she may get on the roof and remove tiles." (Note: 三天不打，上房揭瓦 is a Chinese saying. When applied to children, the notion is that you beat your child in order to make him/her behave (as in respecting authority, maintaining discipline and being a good citizen) and, conversely, if you don't beat your child, he/she will misbehave. It also applies to wife-beating.)
2010: The relevant department expands the list of banned terms. The Chinese word for "file" (which has the same sound as Party) and the English letter "D" disappear in mainland China. Dangdang was changed to Angang, while Douban became Ouban.
2010 June: The government inaugurates the "Protect the Children" campaign. Children's Day is elevated to the same status as National Day. It is also announced that all information that is unfavorable to the healthy development of children and adolescents will be strictly prohibited. At the same time, the Shanghai World Expo introduces the slogan "World Expo, World Expo, catch ten thousand adulterous couples in bed" in order to conduct online and offline anti-pornography (anti-"yellow") campaigns simultaneously. The government makes it clear that anything and everything connected to pornography shall be censored because they stand for obscenity and feudalism. Elementary school students are mobilized to march in the streets to demonstrate against anything pornographic ("yellow").
2010 July: The Elementary School Students Patriotic Committee finds out that the five yellow-colored five-pointed stars on the national flag are inconsistent with contemporary progressive ideas. The relevant department decides to change the five-pointed stars from yellow to red.
2010 August: The government discovers that the red five-pointed stars are the same color as the background, so that it is hard to find them. Representatives of elementary school students propose the five-pointed stars be changed into green color, to represent green scarves and Green Dam.
2010: Based upon the recommendations of the Elementary School Students Loving Care Committee and representatives of elementary school students, the government tightens the censorship standards on photographs, with guiding principles such as "erect nipples equal bare nipples."
2010: All Internet forum masters are formally given public service worker status.
2010: The government introduces a brand new Internet Great Wall. This Great Wall system is based upon the collective wisdom of innumerable of experts from all walks of life in China. They work together at a military base. The satellite photos of their work site was misinterpreted by people inside and outside of China as those of an aircraft carrier under construction.
2011 January: The government allocates 100 billion yuan to hire Internet commentators from its next round of economic stimulation package. The pay for Internet commentators rises from 50 cents per post to 1 yuan per post. The target for 2011 is to have 100 billion positive posts. The Fifty-cent Gang members at the various forums weep in gratitude because their long, arduous work over the years has finally allowed them to join the big team. From there on, the ratio of Internet commentators versus normal people is about 50:50 at the large Internet forums.
2011: Google, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter announce that they are re-entering China and opening up registration. At the same time, the aforementioned websites announce from the United States that they are not developing any businesses in China. But their announcements are instantly censored, so that nobody in China knows.
2011: All those who register at the aforementioned websites are systematically tracked down by the Great Wall system. Their computers are re-installed. Afterwards, if the users want to visit a general-purpose website, they can only reach People.com.cn and Xinhua; if they want to visit a forum, they can only go to Strong Nation Forum and Tiexue Forum; if they want to visit a video site, they can only go to CCTV 1. Once the system is re-installed this way, there is no way to undo the settings.
2011: The price of computers goes up by 100%. Computer scalpers proliferate. When users buy new computers, they find that they can only access the aforementioned websites.
(more...)
